Three little words. No, not I love you, but close, ”I forgive you.” Those words are wonderful to hear if you have slighted or hurt someone. But, to say I forgive you to one who has hurt you is not always so easy. We know we should forgive, but depending on the circumstances, may not feel we can. I remember one time thinking there’s not a person I couldn’t forgive, especially another Christian. (Be careful when you think you know yourself.) That’s when an acquaintance, out of careless disregard, deeply hurt one of my daughters. Though they asked for forgiveness, the damage was irreparable. I was angry, and I stayed angry for quite some time. I learned it’s easier to forgive a hurt to yourself than to someone you love. I admire those parents who can even forgive someone who has savagely assaulted and murdered their child. The book “The Shack” comes to mind. But then a thought comes, didn’t God forgive you for causing his Child to be savagely assaulted and murdered? Yes, he did! Lord, give me a forgiving heart.

 

My matchbox suggestion this week: “Brighten someone else’s day—or your own—with fresh flowers.” I did that Saturday for one of my daughter’s. It was a special day for her. God must have thought so too because the first daffodil bloomed in her garden today, on this below freezing morning. Now, that’s a fresh flower! What is it about fresh flowers that brings so much joy? If you closely examine even the tiniest flower struggling to show itself among the grass in your lawn, the various shades of color, the delicate petals, the perfect design, it inspires thoughts of the great Designer. Our God has created so much around us to bring us joy, if we will just notice. It seems a little self-serving to buy flowers for myself this week, but I think I will anyway. I do love fresh flowers. And, while I’m at it, I’m wondering who else’s day might need brightening.

 

Even I’ve called her Aunt Patsy on occasion, though she’s not my aunt. She’s the aunt of the sisters with a hair salon in a small town near me. She’s in her mid-to-upper 80s so she’s really their great aunt. When she comes in, she’s all bright and cheerful and chatting away in her old timey Texas accent. Last Friday when I came, she was already there. The girls were now all caught up on the family. After her hair was finished, she stayed and visited with another customer. That’s how Patsy and I both left at the same time. But when she got to her SUV, she accidentally dropped her keys in between the front seats. I waited to see if I could help. As she struggled to retrieve her keys, I noticed a stick about a foot and a half long on the ground. I handed that to her. She pushed the keys as far as she could toward the back seats and opened her back door. What a mess, she said as she began to describe everything in her back seat. Then, she said, let me show you what’s in the trunk. She opened the trunk and showed me the Christmas items she had gotten at half price at Walmart after Christmas. She showed me the bag of egg cartons she was returning to some person I didn’t know. She showed me the bag of plastic bags she was saving. Then there was her husband’s walker. She also had an old Styrofoam ice chest that reminded her of another story. After that, as we both were shivering from the cold by now, she retrieved her keys and we parted ways. I love living in Texas!

 

Last Sunday our church had a First Responders’ lunch for the local fire and police departments. The main entrée is chili (this is Texas) but along with the five crockpots of chili were chicken enchiladas, various soups, cornbread, salads and veggies and enough desserts to give everyone a sugar high. As a policeman started by our table with his bowl of chili plus Fritos and cheese, I said we have questions. He was obviously looking to sit with his buddies but instead he sat down at our table. Brian is easily more than six feet tall and probably weighs 250 pounds at least. He’s a big guy. But he sat down with a couple of us women and answered our questions, whether insignificant or more serious. Had he ever been shot! No, he hadn’t. He’s married with a couple of kids and has been on the force for 11 years. He’s a policeman because he wants to make a difference in his community. He was wearing 30 pounds of gear around his waist and he had a bullet-proof vest under his shirt. He showed us his Taser. He explained training procedures for new recruits. He told us about an experience when he shot at a lock on a door to get to a man reported to have hostages. Meeting Brian gives me a renewed appreciation for those men and women who face danger every day for our protection. I have a new name on my prayer list. His name is Brian.

 

The matchbook inspiration for this week (for those who care) is, “Take note of something in your home that you love and why.” Love is such a strong word. What do I love so much that I would feel a great loss without it? That’s got me scratching my head. I have no pets, not even a gold fish, so it would have to be an inanimate object. Many items in my home have good memories attached to them—my children’s projects I’ve kept forever, my last saddle (yes, it’s on a rack in my bedroom), family photos. All are irreplaceable, except maybe some of the photos. I’ve often thought if I had to leave my home in a hurry, I would grab the external hard drive attached to my computer and my cell phone. These have copies of many of my important documents and photos on them. But I can’t say I love the hard drive or my mobile. It’s what’s on them that’s important to me. Come to think of it, I’m going to be leaving it all behind one day anyway. And, maybe that’s what this week’s matchbook message is all about.

 

Back to the singles mingle I mentioned the other day, I don’t want you to think I’m being judgmental about singles get-togethers. Maybe getting acquainted that way is even better than the online sources for those wishing to find a soulmate. But, for some reason, it just didn’t feel right for me. I blamed it on my personality, but my friend Donna said it could have been a nudge from God. I think she’s right. It’s good to pay attention to nudges from God! Sometimes, even a harmless situation might not be right for you. And I didn’t lose a friend either. Sue just texted me this freezing cold, windy morning to see if I needed anything. She included some pretty flower emojis in her texts as well. Even if we don’t always know the reasons for the God nudges, if we will just listen and heed, God always knows what’s best.

 

I’m on my high horse again. Ever since I read, “Conscience is God’s presence in man,” by Emanuel Swedenborg. It’s a popular quote from this 17^th century theologian who may have had some right ideas, but not this one. Our innate human conscience can be a good guide, but only if it has been trained properly from birth. It is not, and I repeat, our conscience is not God. Our consciences are formed by our parents, our educators, our particular religious beliefs, our politicians, even what country we live in. That innate sense of right or wrong Swedenborg is talking about can be corrupted. (Read the apostle Paul’s instructions in I Timothy 4:1-5. Also Titus 1:15.) But reading that quote did make me start to inventory and analyze what my conscience is dictating me to do or not to do. There’s some good stuff there, but also a mishmash of old wrong teachings and habits that need to be purged completely. Yikes!

 

An old Scandinavian proverb says, “They are rich who have friends.” I believe that and therefore feel very well off. I’m not the most outgoing person (though I’m getting better) so I thank God for every friend I have. Friends are valuable and should be appreciated and not taken for granted. Why am I going on about friends? I have a new neighbor. She’s a widow like me, but unlike me is very social. She decided the singles, both men and women, in the neighborhood needed an event to get together and get better acquainted. She invited me to her event, which is happening tonight. She said it wasn’t about dating but just for good conversation. I couldn’t do it; I had to say no. No matter her description, it sounded like a singles mingle to me. I could just see myself all awkward and uncomfortable and looking for an excuse to leave. So I wimped out. I hope I haven’t lost a friend.

 

If you’re following my weekly matchstick suggestions, this week’s was, “Volunteer in your community.” OK, I’m already doing that, so that’s good. It reminded me though that even a good thing can turn into a problem. When I retired and moved to Texas, I thought with all this “extra” time available why not become a volunteer. So I did. It wasn’t long before I was put on my church advisory board. I became a hospice volunteer and over the years have done everything from office volunteer to president to board member. I joined League of Women Voters and became an officer and took on producing their newsletter. I’m the secretary of our choir, keeping all our many files of sheet music in order. I was on the golf board out where I live, and, oh, yes, I was an officer in our art league as well. On and on I went. I didn’t say no to anyone. The various meetings escalated as did my responsibilities. Yes, I made a lot of wonderful friends, but finally, I was forced to take inventory, cut back and learn to take control of my life. Yesterday, my dear friend Jennifer, our county librarian, called to ask me to fill the position of vice president of Friends of the Library. As much of a supporter of our library as I am, it was tough, but I had to sweetly say, No.

Remember those projects I didn’t do the other day? Well, I remember, because they are scattered all over my guest bedroom. I started on them yesterday, and, of course, in my enthusiasm took on more than I could possible finish. It’s taking more time because things have memories attached and it’s difficult to get rid of them. So, here I am writing about my things while they are staring at me from across the hall. I could shut the door, but that would be a temporary fix at best. I would still know they are there lurking, waiting for me to sort out and trash or recycle what I don’t need. It reminds me of what our pastor Steve Solari encouraged us to do last Sunday. He said to simplify our lives and see how we could add more time with God in our daily schedules. When I look at my life, I have to admit I see some clutter. My life could use some sorting out. Some activities need to be more organized. Some need to be severely trimmed back and others need to be totally trashed! Help me, Lord!