Help, But Don’t Hurt

“Help a friend find something positive in an unpleasant situation.” That’s the matchbox suggestion for this week. Now, that can be touchy. I’ve known some who have had a health problem that motivated them to go to a doctor and learn they had a more serious life-threatening problem as well. If they hadn’t gone, they would have died. Now, that might be an appropriate situation in which to use that suggestion. But, have you ever heard anyone try to comfort someone who’s lost a loved one with, “They’re in a better place now” or “I’m sure you’re happy they’re not in pain anymore.” Don’t say it. Just don’t say it. For one grieving the loss of a dear loved one, an “I’m so sorry” or no words at all with a hug is enough. They may agree their loved one is not in pain and in a better place, but they’re suffering a heartfelt loss with wounds deeper than such feeble attempts to comfort can salve. So I’ll be looking for the right situation this week, but carefully and thoughtfully.

 

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